Dr. Chu Wants to HEAR from YOU!

Leave it to a democratic administration intimately dialed into Big Oil, on the one hand, while playing the Green Card, on the other, to come up with a solution to all the ills of the runaway oil industry, and a disaster of biblical proportions swept under the rug!

"Hey Gang! We want to hear from you! And, boys and girls, we've updated our website! Yaaaaaay!

Gosh golly, why, THAT'S PROGRESS!

Thanks Dr. Chu, your little pep-talk went a long way to assure us all is well, and that everything is Hunky-Dory.

Well, that's it from here, kids. Until next time.

And now a word from our sponsor.

Fox News Had NNNNNOTHING TO DO WITH THE TRAGEDY IN Arizona

Rupert Murdoch's Fox News has been working hard to destabilize this country. And he is succeeding.

We have to ask whether Beck will begin to "hate" the victims of this tragedy.

Here's Fox New paid contributor Sarah Palin during some down-time from her busy life.

Remember? "Don't retreat, reload!"

But today, Fox News issued a statement that there is no evidence to suggest the shooting in Arizona in which 6 people died and a congresswoman was critically wounded, was politically motivated, or that they had anything to do with it. Sure. As if.

Dead birds, NOW ZOMBIES!?

Zombies were reported in five cities today.

Chicago Department of Health Director, Dr. Stanley F. Lubbeck said "our zombies are not related to the zombie outbreak noticed in Indiana."

Dr. Lubbeck said City of Chicago authorities have noticed zombies before. The zombification of corpses has been ongoing for quite some time in Chicago, he said.

"We've always had zombies, so I don't know what everyone is worried about" Dr. Lubbeck said. "It's just now, with the internet; Twitter and Facebook, people are knowing about it more. The media is to blame for a lot of the panic. If everyone would calm down the problem will quietly go away."

Miriam Johnston of Indianapolis, Indiana isn't so sure; "You can't trust what the government people tell you. They don't want to admit this is bad. I mean, c'mon (expletive) zombies? Zombies? This is normal? What the (expletive) is wrong with you people?"

Last week she was approached by a small crowd of walking corpses near her home. She said one tried to bite her but there were no witnesses to back up her claim.

"I've never seen zombies before this. I wouldn't have moved here if there had been zombies. I've never even heard of zombies, except for in the movies."

What's more, she doesn't believe that zombies aren't potentially toxic.

"I don't like the way they look at us. And the smell," she said.

For now, federal authorities have said there is no evidence zombies are poisonous, or that they devour human flesh, as rumors have reported.

"Zombies are perfectly harmless," said Bud Styles an assistant to Ken Salazar, Interior Secretary.

Styles was interviewed in Yellowstone National Park, a zombie staging point for mass relocation and disposal.

He spoke via SKYPE as teams of federal workers in full HAZMAT gear escorted zombies into paddocks for eventual transportation to an incineration facility at an undisclosed location.

Styles said the HAZMAT gear was standard precautionary.

Test of Zombie flesh has revealed nothing out of the ordinary but more tests are being conducted, he said.

"Those tests will take a few weeks," he said.

Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner said rumors of preferential zombie-disposal contract letting are untrue.

"No members of my party have been unduly influenced in contract letting for zombie removal," he said.

ZombieCorp has contributed more than $5.9 million in campaign contributions to several key members of the House and Senate.

Some members of congress are listed on the ZombieCorp board of directors.

"There is no connection," said Boehner, refusing further comment.

President Barrack Obama has appointed a special investigatory committee to look into the problem and the allegations of contract letting.

"We understand (pause) that people are upset. (look out over audience with calm demeanor.) (pause) Listen, my family is concerned about zombies too. (smile charmingly). We will get to the bottom of this question. The important thing to remember is, we are all Americans. Even zombies."

(file it under satire!)

DEAD BIRDS! Nothing to see here folks, just thousands of them

Now in Kentucky, in addition to Louisiana and Arkansas.

CNN sent a reporter to the University of Georgia who in 3 minutes at the bottom of the hour between 5:57 and 6:00 EST rehashed the same story as yesterday. The blunt trauma theory rides again.

Without mentioning the state of Kentucky, CNN again assures us that birds, all in unison, mostly red wing blackbirds, with a smattering of starling, now, and other delicate creatures, for some reason or other, began driving themselves into phone poles, power lines, and the ground on New Years, presumably due to sensory overload from fireworks.

In this BBC video, you see the birds didn't even wait for the fireworks in Beebe, Arkansas before becoming "disoriented" by loud noises and explosions, they began their death spirals at 7 p.m. Dec. 31.

CNN calmly informs us there is no reason to suspect chemical poisoning, even though chemical tests to rule out chemical poisoning, could take "a couple of weeks." They nod, and ask no further probing questions.

It should be noted that hard-hitting, gruff and tough journalist Wolf "take no shit" Blitzer and company spent a roughly equal amount of time near the TOP of the hour, on their courageous story on Starbucks (tm) changing their logo on their coffee cups. (NO LIE!)

Sometimes the courage and fortitude of CNN in their in-depth coverage makes me weep with pride that I was once a journalist, and that we have a truly free press in these United States of America(tm). God Bless the mighty 4th Estate.

Pffft....

Add this to yesterday's little ditty on the matter if you missed it.

Stanley Morton Diaries: "Let's get back after the BOYCOTT!"

Corporations

First they came for the farmers,

But t'was nothing to me, I don't farm.

That they next robbed the craftsmen and workers?

To me, was no cause for alarm.

When after they came for the fishermen,

T'was the same old story, you see.

As I don't ply waters for riches,

I only fish sport by the sea.

Soon after they came for the environment,

But here too, I made not a peep.

For am I to be an extremist,

When t'is safer the silence of sheep?

After which, came they for the markets,

And with it, our housing, our jobs.

Which we learned were all sent to China,

While our cheeks ran runny with sobs.

T'was then (much too late) I to Washington made,

With a hat, and waiving I sign.

On a bus owned by my captors,

I was driven in comfort sublime.

Through all of it I remained trapped,

encased in my fear and my dread,

of being seen as alarmist?

I'd sooner be thought of as dead.

And as they took the courts and the judges,

We were blithely given our due.

There wasn't a word of protest,

Nor even the right to sue.

Now t'is slavery all that I am left with,

My chains and my bowl by my side.

This I leave to my namesake,

With barely enough to survive.

By David Anthony Kearns

Blackbird DIE! Can you say 'COREXIT?'

You remember growing up, every time you lit off a firework on the 4th of July or on New Year's Eve, you hit a red wing black bird?

Yeah. And neither THE FUCK!!!! do I.

But to believe the state wildlife officials in Arkansas, that is precisely what happened to thousands of red wing black birds (Agelaius phoeniceus) over the past week. No word of a similar explanation coming from Louisiana. Yet.

Sure, you remember how it went: the annual clean-up of thousands of dead and dying MIGRATORY birds, all from one particular species? Remember how birds fell from the sky in waves, after every thunder storm for the same reason, FRIGHT FROM A LOUD EXPLOSION?

Pfft....

"Norwegian Blue, he's just restin', is all. Sure that's it."

This is how quickly the government will lie to you. This is how fast the lie will be spread via the lightweight swill-heads in the televised media.

This excrementus journalisticus was being bandied about on CNN Sunday and Monday; that Arkansonian firework launchers on the eve of December 31 had specifically targeted the red wing black bird which resulted in a number of dead and dying creatures in one particular hamlet.

Apparently, and quite strangely, all of the firework enthusiasts living in the environs of the Beebe, Arkansas are descended from Annie Oakley and John James Audubon, and they don't cotton to no Agelaius phoeniceus around these-here parts!

All the birds showed signs of blunt-force trauma, officialdom said. Not that falling out of trees, or the sky would have anything to do with it.

But this morning it was announced that such trauma was also being reported in Morganza, Louisiana 300 miles to the south. And so, the geniuses at CNN had to revamp, then finally scrap their story regarding said fireworks as deathly fright mechanism. This, in snippets between their courageous, in-depth coverage of the Lindsey Lohan having an arm wrestle with a nurse during her drug and alcohol rehab.

This is what happens when you stop teaching science in the classroom; replacing it instead with swill, Walmart Jesus, and gobbletygook. You find a body public stupefied enough to actually entertain such notions.

Let's take a look at the red wing black bird, shall we?

Its migratory sex and feeding habits place it throughout the cat-tail and coastal marshes of these United States. One of its favorite haunts (wait for it!) is at the edges of the Gulf of Mexico.

The little bird is omnivorous. That means it can and will! eat just about anything. It enjoys is mosquitoes, flies, maggots, and dead things as well.

Repeating now, it enjoys dead things as well.

"Dead things?"

Sure, no problem. It will eat a dead thing. Yeppers.

"Dead, like fish?"

Oh hell yeah. It'll eat that. Good-to-go.

We spoke over the summer, if you've been reading, about something called "bio-accumulation," wherein a toxin is introduced into the environment at the lower levels, say in mosquito larvae, or shrimp larvae, and then it accumulates in a species that eats a whole mess of those smaller critters, or their larvae.

"The canary in the coal mine?"

Precisely. The canary was used to tell the miners when bad gases were building up BECAUSE IT WOULD DIE FIRST SO THEY COULD GET THE HELL OUT OF THE MINE AHEAD OF THE GAS!!

Yeah. Like that.

Corexit - and we really have not the first idea WHAT it does to human tissue AND the government won't speculate - has been shown to behave like a neurotoxin in some forms of critterdom. It attacks soft tissues, brain, the nerves, while it also goes after the muscles. It might render a little bird off-balance. Unable to fly, or even hold on to a branch should it decide to take a rest.

SILENCE! While I listen to an official from Arkansas, Dr. George P. Badley, stumble over his words as he is interviewed by CNN's genius in residence, Kira Phillips. (They'll get her too. You watch. They fire the smart ones right after they get rid of the back-sassers)

Dr George P. Badley notes that the red wing black bird is considered a "nuisance". He also said the 17 birds undergoing necropsy had suffered "internal hemorrhaging" which is precisely what would happen if you had some acute chemical poisoning.

But don't take my word for it. Continue believing it's the result of fireworks.

Dr. George P. Badley, he's the state veterinarian for Arkansas, also stated the bird has notoriously bad night vision.

Well you can see where this is going, can't you? Yep, blame the victim. And he's a blind nuisance. He contributes nothing to the economy. He pays no taxes, and liberals love him, so fuck him. Who needs Agelaius phoeniceus around these here parts!

Dr. George P. Badley, also (the interview just gets worse here) said he hasn't spoken to anyone in Louisiana but "he can't see" how the massive die off of the exact same species, the same weekend, under the same conditions, could be related to what went on on Beebe.

Beebe is north by northwest of Morganza, Louisiana, about 280 miles on the Google Earth. It is 80 miles north by west of the Mississippi River. Morganza is right on the Mississippi, and north of the Gulf of Mexico by 90 miles.

The bird flies in massive groups, and can cover more than 30 miles in a day. Its migration pulses back and forth over the delta from the Gulf into the heartland, over the course of the year. But don't take my word for it. Go to Google, type in "red wing black bird" and read all about it. See how wide the habitat is, covering much of these United States. Has the bird fallen from the sky in your town immediately after New Year's fireworks?

Is it Corexit, or something chemical in the water, killing the bird?

Could be. Smells like a chemical poisoning by the evidence. One species? Something it ate? Yep.

Will the government look into it?

Not likely. Lassez faire government likes the "go boom" explanation. Why sure, there's a government cheese grazer somewhere between coffee breaks, writing up a press release as you read these words. The release will undoubtedly employ the appropriate pseudo-sci lingo citing fireworks as the principle culprit.

Meanwhile, add this bird die-off to a thousand potential impacts of the spill, and the chemical dispersant, still reverberating in the environment. Still reverberating as the government tries to bribe, arm-twist, or entice innocent victims to give up their right to sue at a later date.

Net loss to life? Unknown.

Dollar value? Priceless.