Now might be time for the Big Dick to get sick all over again. The hours are counting down.
Dickensonian Cheney in his bed, awaiting the big one or the spirits one, two, and three, to erase all his sins, and "God Bless us EVERY ONE!"
Okay charges were filed earlier this month. That's right as CEO of Halliburton, along with then subsidiary KBR, it is alleged Cheney and others gave out serious cash to secure a $6 billion oil and natural gas lease in the African country.
You'll note the stalwart denials, of course. "Nigeria? Never even heard of the place! I protest!"
Wwwah, wwwah, wwwaaaaaah. Come to find everyone will likely settle and make nice. Of course deniability is still there, right? Why? Because Nigeria is only slightly more corrupt than we are.
And by the way, that's how completely out-of-touch the news cycle is. Apparently the former vice president of the United States being charged in Nigeria for fu-hu-cking BRIBERY! isn't news-worthy.
What? That's SICK!
MSNBC with its thundering away, pontificating Keith Olbermann, and the Queen of Sanctimony Herself Rachel "DADT is the ONLY issue" Maddow?
Nope. Didn't touch it.
See Kyra Philips, Kiran Chetry, John Stossel, ANDERSON COOPER all collectively looking up into the trees; "Hey, that's a neat bird!" while whistling Christmas Carols to no one.
Can't even type. Fingers shaking. Eyes blinking.
Will the Lord God pardon Dick Cheney after he croaks?
We know that pussy, otherwise known as President Barack Obama, will likely do so. But will God?
Okay, I'm God. Just for a minute now, work with me. I'm God, okay?
And I say "fuck that motherfucker! He goes RIGHT TO HELL!"
Now I am not God. Okay? I'm back. Just me at the controls of my little hate machine here. And yet, somehow, I'm imagining God getting back to his desk, checking his email, and realizing that I have ordered Cheney to Hell while he was at lunch.
"Hmmmn," God says. And maybe he even takes out a bag of Cheeto's from his desk. He leans back in his chair, mulls it over, downs one Cheeto, then then next and goes.
"Yeah, sure. What the hell. Let's go with it."