Feinberg: "BP Will Pay Fee For pro-bono Lawyers"

File it under "yeah, that'll work."

Watch to the end of this video. Did you hear that?

Let me see if I have this correct. If you need to get a lawyer to address your issues with BP and you need one pro-bono - which is like, free to you! - BP will foot the bill out of the goodness of their sweet baby Jesus hearts.

Feinberg, says that "in no way" will this impact the sort of legal advice doled out to the unfortunate victims of the worst oil spill in our nation's history.

Nnnah. Come on.

And y0u believe that with all your heart, don't you?

Just like you believe him when he says the liability release waivers he is asking those afflicted parties to sign, holding BP harmless, are no way timed with the Christmas season and the need for families to at least put something on the table?

Sure. You buy that too, don't you?

Because you're a trusting person, right? And the government and large corporations don't lie, and if I close my eyes really hard and pray, everything will be alright.

This is what is going through my head just now:

Because I believe whatever it is Santa-Jesus BigGovCorp tells me.

Of course Feinberg's comments represent the latest hypnotic idiot-speak that has passed muster with a docile, auto-orgasmic media all flutter-eyed and shivering to its own rhythmic strokes at the hypocrisy of the extended Bush tax cuts.

Mmmmmnn, yeah! so good, as it flails away at that which is glisteningly obvious: on the one hand Tea Partiers begging for more debt, and on the other a campaign pledge broken.

"Did he really?"

"Oh hell yes he did. Look at the tape!"

"Really?

"Look again!"

(snore)

And President Obama in no way shape or form made this latest boo-boo to deflect the nation's attention from what continues to happen in the Gulf.

You believe that right?

You believe there are no back room deals flying all over the place at the moment. Florida trial attorney Mike Papantonio was looking into whether Feinberg was getting a cut of whatever he saves the oil giant, but that issue vanished into thin air. All quiet, all better.

You would agree that if Feinberg is getting a percentage at whatever BP saves is a pretty big conflict of interest right? That's huge, right?

That's why in Florida real estate law you can't perform property appraisals AND be paid fees based on the appraised value, right? Because, somehow, gosh golly, every property you looked at would suddenly be worth $1 million or better. Makes sense.

But we, here down the other end the information pipe have no answer either way on this seemingly ridiculous question that is suspiciously going unanswered.

Just shit-nuts crazy enough to be true? Consult history on this thing.

Yup.

In the end, if you want to go back to sleep, take none of this seriously. DON'T think that Ken Feinberg is now BP's legal and financial point-man. DON'T think that he is doing everything in his power to minimize damage to the oil giant who has maximized damaged to the people on the Gulf Coast for decades. DON'T think Ken Feinberg's mission in life is to keep BP out of court at all costs, including the skin of the very people the company has harmed the most.