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David Anthony Kearns with video contributions by Stanley S. Morton, III

BP Oil spill in Gallons

Friday, November 26, 2010

Un-Fucking Believable!

This is MR. OBAMA'S Oil Spill Lie-Wash Commission's essential finding:

(Puffed up voice of officialdom here) "There is no indication safety was compromised for monetary concerns."

Yes, this is what they told us via anal fog horn, just a week ago. Remember? Can you remember last week? Hello? Are you there? "DOCTOR GET THE PADDLES THE PATIENT IS DOA!"

But as luck would have it - or perhaps it's God talking to us, or the Dalai's karma - an internal memo has surfaced now in the form of a slide within a presentation that was to be aired only "interoffice" of the weasel commission. This leaked out to the wider world through the website of said entity, also known as The Presidential Commission on the Gulf Oil Spill. And from there it found its way into The New York Times and its associated web site.

This PowerPoint slide more clearly and concisely, without the mumbo-jumbo previously fed to the public, iterated eleven conclusions. These each state that safety WAS pitched for monetary (aka TIME!!) concerns in as many as nine out of a possible eleven procedures omitted in the worst man-made upward fornication, in earth's history. The other two omitted procedures may have been time savers, or they may not have been.

Time is used parenthetically here only because some folks (namely the commissioners themselves) need it pounded into their heads that there is absolutely no difference between time and money in the adult world of drilling for oil.

I have already decried all this in a previous blog. As Dale Bozzio said "Do you hear me? Do you care?" She also said "What are words for when no one listens anymore?"

I was so angered I even trotted out my old friend Stanley Morton to say it in a video now found on YouTube, last bastion of the insane. Stanley feigned urination on the commissions' findings because he believes that our minds long ago reverted to the fecal stage, and thus special impactful images are necessary in order to reverse Societal Bullshit Tone-Deafness Disorder (SBTDD). You'll notice Stanley gets so worked up b y all this he can't even add and subtract anymore while explaining things. Sad, really.

Stanley says; "I stood in a public bathroom out in the middle of nowhere in Palm Bay, Florida and poured GatorAid on a piece of paper then flushed it for y'all. Did anybody listen?"

We continue:

This little ditty of a slide, well, the commission wanted that right back again didn't they, so they pulled it from their website.

These guys wrote a nice article about the whole thing, and here it is. (See where the colors are different? You take the mouse and guide the cursor over the pretty color then click. Then you hit the back arrow when you're finished. Yes, come straight back here, because I want to yell at you some more. Why? Because damn it all, I have no one else to scream at and my hands are shaking my cheeks are wobbling, and if I have to endure this feeling then, my friends, SO DO YOU!!)

Oh, and here's the offending item GovMediaCorp didn't want you to see, AKA the truth. (Repeat instructions)

In summation, no one likes to admit this about any public official they previously believed in. In my case there are two who fit into this category, Senator Bob Graham who chairs the weasel commission, and President Barack O-goddamn-I-ain't-doing-shit-about-the-oil-spill -bama.

The weasel commission is proving itself to be a passel of lying villains, who can't even lie with competence. They are acting every bit like they are being bribed, drugged into stupidity, coerced through strong-arm tactics or all of the above.

They have now let the "truth pig" out of the bag. And they want it back, so they can dress that bad boy up and put lipstick of obfuscation, the soft, legalized piss-water, the parsed nothingness of GovSpeak all over it.

At the very end tail of this pig they wish to place a little glop of dog shit like a bow for us to grab with our mouths, suck on hard and swallow. This dollop of poo lamely asserts that everything previously stated, is only true, in the exact opposite sense.

Yes, "Opposite Day" for grown-ups. Remember Opposite Day as a child? Only we Americans are now such utterly clueless idiots. Now, without the benefit of an education befitting an eighth grader to guide us, we can't taste the dog shit going down, much less understand it for what it is when we hear it, or read it.

And that's just un-fucking believable to me.


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